I have counseled with scores of people who have repeatedly failed in the same ways again and again. Many of them still are affixing blame and cannot imagine how they are culpable in their most recent failure, even though it is a pattern that has happened other times and they are the only common denominator in every situation.
Why is it so hard to own our weaknesses? Why do we resist being honest about our faults? I have discovered real growth only happens when you can be brutally honest about both your strengths and weaknesses – your successes and your failures.
As a young man, I found myself picking up the pieces from my derailed life too many times. I always could attach blame to other people and circumstances. Thankfully there came a day when I no longer wanted that type of life. I wanted to be better. I wanted healthier relationships. I wanted to make wiser decisions. And it all began to get better for me when I owned my part of my previous troubles. It was hugely important for me to admit that I had behavior patterns that were deep rooted that did not serve me well. Anger, passive aggression, no boundaries, poor decision making were all a part of my DNA. I could keep repeating the patterns or I could own them and be freed from them. I chose the latter and I am glad I did.
I hope you will do the same. Owning your weakness isn’t diminishing to your personhood. I would never want you to do anything that would imply you are at your core wicked or evil. You just have some weaknesses and admitting to them and doing what you can do to correct them is the best thing you can do. It really is true, you have to own it to truly overcome it.